Return To Sender

This week’s essay takes the form of an open letter to Canada Post, which seems to find the concept of “Return to Sender” extremely puzzling.

Dear Canada Post:

Thank you for successfully, and repeatedly, delivering mail to my house that I’ve already indicated is “Return to Sender.” It’s fascinating to receive a piece of mail in my mailbox that I’ve previously stamped “Return to Sender” on and marked a stroke through the addressee.

Perhaps the large, bold red stamp across the white envelope bearing the words “Return to Sender” is ambiguous. Paired with the fact that the addressee is stroked out, I can only imagine how this must be puzzling your sorters, staff and automated systems. Perhaps it requires post-doctoral research to look at an envelope and understand what the words “Return to Sender” mean.

Canada Post, had this been a one-off issue, I’d completely understand. Sometimes things slip through the cracks. When I receive multiple pieces back in a week that all bear the bold red “Return to Sender” stamp on them, we know someone simply isn’t pulling their weight. Further, this has been going on for almost a year.

Any fathomable shreds of me which sympathised with Canada Post employees being legislated back to work die each time I receive one of these letters. It demonstrates that at multiple steps through the process, employees simply said “I don’t fucking care” about their work. The more they don’t care, the more I won’t care either.

So I’m sorry, Canada Post, that incompetence appears to be reigning supreme in your ranks. I cannot fathom an easy solution for you.